proof that zenithblue has an internal filter after all

[zenithblue]

A woman walked up to me at the circulation desk today, a prim middle-aged women with a tight lipsticked line for a mouth. She looked at me sort of embarrassed for a minute, then said: "You know, wearing a shirt like that really just encourages people to look at your chest."

A number of possible reactions zipped through my head.

REJECTED COMEBACK #1: "Really?" A pause. "So are you saying I should be charging more per hour?"

REJECTED COMEBACK #2: (getting jiggy behind the counter) "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

REJECTED COMEBACK #3: (grabbing a handful of tit and shrieking) "Stop looking at my dirty pillows!"

REJECTED COMEBACK #4: "Yeah, I like to lead the eye to my lady lumps, if you know what I'm saying. Keeps people from catching wise that I'm stealing their credit card numbers. How did you say you wanted to pay for your fines?" 

WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID: (sweet as sugar) "Thanks for the fashion advice!"

...which I thought was very well-behaved of me, all things considered

Comments

[somethinghead.livejournal.com]

Nice self-control, but man, #2 would've been hilarious.

Oy...

[librarygrrl]

Don't you love the unsolicited advice? Once, back when my nose was first pierced and I wore a ring instead of the tiny opal I have now, this older woman went off on me. It was prompted by her seeing a girl, I'm guessing around 10-12, wearing a fake nose ring. The woman shrilled something at the poor child about that being really inappropriate, and then wheeled around to me and said "And you, too! You ought to be ashamed." I believe I just raised my eyebrow at her and let her walk away. I really, really wanted to respond, though!

I will admit that I tend to not wear tight shirts to work. (I didn't used to wear tight shirts at all, but recently have started enjoying the positive attention.) I figure what the patrons can't ogle won't bother me... T., of course, thinks I should show off my assets at all times, and one of my coworkers agrees. (D., if you're curious.) Oy! ;)

Re: Oy...

[zenithblue.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, was this in Portland? People still act that way about nose piercings in Anchorage and it trips my shit out when I'm back there. Somehow tattoos are ok and vanilla now but a little manic panic in your hair and a nose ring and you are a freak. I can't imagine thinking like that in Portland. Heh.

I shall add to the peer pressure and say: flaunt away. Of course, I'm not sure *I'd* want to add some of the Holgate patrons to the Jen's Boobs Fanclub, so I understand why you'd opt not to yourself.

[scarredbyitall.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of #3.

Patrons can be such. . . patrons.

[sliding-doors.livejournal.com]

your library skillz bring all the boys to the yard.

[te-amo-azul.livejournal.com]

how nice that she felt encouraged.

cuz, she's "people." she looked at your chest.

it's handy to have an internal editor when you work for the uptight library. but it's sadly predictable to have an internal slave to hypothetical societal mores.

[musashi270.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was very nice of you. What sort of shirt were you wearing that prompted this sudden consultation?

SCANDALOUS!!

[zenithblue.livejournal.com]

The offending shirt:



The text is backwards because I took it w/my computer camera (and I couldn't figure out how to reverse it) but it says: "I give myself very good advice but I very rarely follow it." A quote lifted from Lewis Carroll.

Sure, there's text across my tits, but 1) it's not like I'm flashing skin and 2) they simply aren't big enough to garner unwholesome attention. Or maybe I have a skewed perspective since I went to a hippie college where we fucking learned how to accept and embrace our body parts as, you know, a natural part of our bodies. As crazy as *that* is.

[morningsprite.livejournal.com]

i have a black shirt with grey lettering that says: "Made you look."

:)

[zenithblue.livejournal.com]

Ha, cute. You tease.

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

LOL to #3. In fact any response involving "dirty pillows" would have rocked.

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

Actually, I like #2 delivered deadpan with a faint look of disbelief: "But... my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? ... Anyway, cash or charge?"

[lagizma.livejournal.com]

I only wish we could get Miss Manners of the Washington Post fame to chime in. zenithblue's original comebacks were right along Miss Manners's lines, though.

[lagizma.livejournal.com]

DUDE!

SCHWEET!

(proper response)

Seriously, I could live a week off a compliment like that.