proof that zenithblue has an internal filter after all

[zenithblue]

A woman walked up to me at the circulation desk today, a prim middle-aged women with a tight lipsticked line for a mouth. She looked at me sort of embarrassed for a minute, then said: "You know, wearing a shirt like that really just encourages people to look at your chest."

A number of possible reactions zipped through my head.

REJECTED COMEBACK #1: "Really?" A pause. "So are you saying I should be charging more per hour?"

REJECTED COMEBACK #2: (getting jiggy behind the counter) "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

REJECTED COMEBACK #3: (grabbing a handful of tit and shrieking) "Stop looking at my dirty pillows!"

REJECTED COMEBACK #4: "Yeah, I like to lead the eye to my lady lumps, if you know what I'm saying. Keeps people from catching wise that I'm stealing their credit card numbers. How did you say you wanted to pay for your fines?" 

WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID: (sweet as sugar) "Thanks for the fashion advice!"

...which I thought was very well-behaved of me, all things considered

Comments

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

LOL to #3. In fact any response involving "dirty pillows" would have rocked.

[helpimarock.livejournal.com]

Actually, I like #2 delivered deadpan with a faint look of disbelief: "But... my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? ... Anyway, cash or charge?"

[lagizma.livejournal.com]

I only wish we could get Miss Manners of the Washington Post fame to chime in. zenithblue's original comebacks were right along Miss Manners's lines, though.