adjectives are not your friends

[zenithblue]

A conversation between me and Hodge, upon him reading and critiquing a teaching statement I had to write for my apps:

HODGE: Lose "interesting." Lose "incredible."
ME: (whining) But I'm tired! And they're easy! How else am I supposed to say it?
HODGE: Make it relevant to you specifically. "Teaching is exciting?" "I want to make their stories interesting?" No. No. Adjectives are not your friends.
ME: (being petulant) Yes they are.
HODGE: No they're not
ME: Yes, they are. Adjectives give me smooches.
HODGE: Adjectives don't give you smooches, they give you back-alley hand jobs.

Comments

[musashi270.livejournal.com]

HODGE: Adjectives don't give you smooches, they give you back-alley hand jobs.

Sorry, but I think we have the win, here.

[blozor.livejournal.com]

Just think: Without adjectives, your applications would look much more profound, and there would be no way they could ignore such a prolific writer.

"Teaching is." "I want to make their stories."

If you saw that as a teaching statement on an application, how could you not hire the person? They'd either be a creative genius or a complete retard, but the credentials would back up the former more than the latter.

[bluescissors76.livejournal.com]

It's sexist, is what it is. Men feel threatened by adjectives. See, e.g.: Ernest Hemingway, Raymond Carvver.

[punkybrister69.livejournal.com]

That's just damn beautiful, right there.
I, too, am an adjective addict, but that's just damn beautiful.

[lagizma.livejournal.com]

Inquiring wives want to know: when is the birthday of zenithblue?

[blozor.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about your particular problem last night. Focus on why you want to teach. Why is it important to you? What drives you, makes you care? You can't just say that teaching is exciting. Anyone can say that. You need to set yourself apart and above the multitude of hacks vying for the same position. You're a writer, so write. You have the combined wisdom and styles of every author you've read and critiqued at your fingertips. Impress the faculty. The main goal of most any author is to not just tell a story, it's to impart wisdom. They take a core belief and weave it into the story. What are your core beliefs about teaching? Work that into your teaching statement. Remember that it's not a statement of desire, but a statement of intent.