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While playing "Moonage Daydream" on Rock Band:

[profile] drawgirl: Is this from his Ziggy Stardust period?
me: Well. Given that it's a song about gay alien sex...
[profile] drawgirl: Oh yeah.

Rock Band is a game that perfectly understands and embraces the most important parts of having a real rock band: 1) Coming up with vaguely obscene band names, and 2) Buying your rocker new cute clothes. So far our X-Box contains band names like the Bints, Bad Panty, the Barackers (that one was [community profile] junkyard's idea), the Anatomically Correct Dolls, and V-Jay D-Jay. It's also possible--even likely--that the "character creation" module has seen more use than the actual game play itself. But there are tattoos to place upon your Barbie Doll Rock Star! And like twenty hair-dos!

And yes, we have done other things besides play X-Box since [profile] drawgirl got here. We also watched a bunch of TV and played Dungeons and Dragons.
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Anyone else on the f-list who knows and loves Katamari Damacy should go check out this story over at [personal profile] prodigal's journal.

It totally kicks ass.
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So I initially wasn't posting much because I've been struggling quite a bit with mood of late. Between the applications, the funeral, and my shift in schedule and return to a much more labor intensive job, I've been all over the map with regards to mental status.

But now I'm not posting much because my super manly sexy boyfriend managed to hunt/gather a Wii for the household, and I have spent the last few days playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Which, for anyone who cares, is definitely the best Zelda since Ocarina of Time, and possibly (possibly!) even as good as Ocarina was.

Oh my god it's so fucking good. It is the zenith-crack. I was totally skeptical about the Wii-remote when I first saw the design, but it is not only really, really fun (it makes mounted fighting possible! soooooo cool!), it's better for my tendonitis (and I'd imagine it'd be better for anyone with hand problems). The game does a really good job of balancing homage to old school Zelda traditions with new content, which is a thing the last few editions of the franchise have either flat out failed at (see Majora's Mask) or have been only marginally successful with (Windwaker, for example).

It is seriously hard-core delerious fun. Or maybe I've just been feeling like shit lately and so a little pure enjoyment feels unbelievably good right now. Either way, why am I still here posting? Hold my calls, bitches, and lock up your daughters. The Zelda-meister is on the move.
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Yesterday Slasher brought over a copy of Guitar Hero, and after consuming a marvelous good feast courtesy of Drawgirl, we moved the furniture and rocked out. No, wait, I'm sorry...RAWKED OUT. Nothing but capital letters for the Cock House Five (which was the, uh, inspired name for our band that [profile] hplovescatscame up with). Okay, so the game is ridiculously fun. You get this little controller, and through a variety of button pushing and lever waggling you the player get to rock out. Much like Dance Dance Revolution, only with a toy guitar. I'm sorry, with a MIGHTY AXE! 

Anyway, there seem to be two kinds of people that play this game. One is the Stoic. You know, every band has that guy. He usually plays the bass. He stands there just playing the guitar, nodding at his own vast competence from time to time. As the mighty oak allows the wind to howl through his branches, so does the Stoic stand, feet planted, letting the violent forces of rock blast against him without swaying. Most newbies seem to be Stoics, largely because we are just trying to get the right damn button.

Then there's the Showboat. Slasher is in fact a Showboat. Slasher was the individual we had to move the furniture for. He jumps up and down. He swings the guitar around. He plays it behind his head. He gets down on his knees and plays to the gods of rock. He is also more good at this game than any working adult person should have the time to be. Though I will say, by the time I started getting the hang of the game, it was becoming obvious to me that I myself will be a Showboat when I can do it without losing track of the buttons. I just couldn't help it. I wanted to move my shoulders around. I wanted to tilt the guitar up. I wanted to thrust my hips in obscene ways and throw up the horns at the screaming crowds chanting my name. 

If you are a compulsive singer, I would advise wearing a ball gag during this game. As I discovered during "Ziggy Stardust" and "Killer Queen" both, it is not for the novice to sing and play at the same time. You wil forget the difference between green, red, and yellow, and your fingers will fail to obey you. Just concentrate on the damn buttons. 

Also: avoid "Crossroads." Eric Clapton is not a Guitar Hero but a Guitar Demigod, and you should not try in your hubris to reach that star else you will only get carpal tunnel. Or make your tendonitis angry with you and spend the rest of the evening with an ice pack pressed to your wrist.

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December 2009

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