Yesterday Slasher brought over a copy of Guitar Hero, and after consuming a marvelous good feast courtesy of Drawgirl, we moved the furniture and rocked out. No, wait, I'm sorry...RAWKED OUT. Nothing but capital letters for the Cock House Five (which was the, uh, inspired name for our band that hplovescats
came up with). Okay, so the game is ridiculously fun. You get this little controller, and through a variety of button pushing and lever waggling you the player get to rock out. Much like Dance Dance Revolution, only with a toy guitar. I'm sorry, with a MIGHTY AXE!
Anyway, there seem to be two kinds of people that play this game. One is the Stoic. You know, every band has that guy. He usually plays the bass. He stands there just playing the guitar, nodding at his own vast competence from time to time. As the mighty oak allows the wind to howl through his branches, so does the Stoic stand, feet planted, letting the violent forces of rock blast against him without swaying. Most newbies seem to be Stoics, largely because we are just trying to get the right damn button.
Then there's the Showboat. Slasher is in fact a Showboat. Slasher was the individual we had to move the furniture for. He jumps up and down. He swings the guitar around. He plays it behind his head. He gets down on his knees and plays to the gods of rock. He is also more good at this game than any working adult person should have the time to be. Though I will say, by the time I started getting the hang of the game, it was becoming obvious to me that I myself will be a Showboat when I can do it without losing track of the buttons. I just couldn't help it. I wanted to move my shoulders around. I wanted to tilt the guitar up. I wanted to thrust my hips in obscene ways and throw up the horns at the screaming crowds chanting my name.
If you are a compulsive singer, I would advise wearing a ball gag during this game. As I discovered during "Ziggy Stardust" and "Killer Queen" both, it is not for the novice to sing and play at the same time. You wil forget the difference between green, red, and yellow, and your fingers will fail to obey you. Just concentrate on the damn buttons.
Also: avoid "Crossroads." Eric Clapton is not a Guitar Hero but a Guitar Demigod, and you should not try in your hubris to reach that star else you will only get carpal tunnel. Or make your tendonitis angry with you and spend the rest of the evening with an ice pack pressed to your wrist.