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It has never been a better time to purchase an exclusive Abernathy Green t-shirt, designed by our own [livejournal.com profile] drawgirl. Why? Because [livejournal.com profile] drawgirl  and her boyfriend Slasher both got laid off their respective jobs this week. Merry Christmas, guys! 

If cute-culture is not your thing, check out Slasher's Jack of No Trades line for a more aggressive, political look.

Abernathy Green and Jack of No Trades shirts are comfy, high-quality, and sweatshop-free. This is a great time to support an independent artist and get a cool new shirt for the new year.
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Some of you are aware that the excellent [profile] drawgirl and her boyfriend have spent the last six months starting up a screen printing business. The majority of their creative juices have been poured into their t-shirt lines, and finally, finally they have the website up, so that I may pimp it.

[profile] drawgirl's line of cutie-macabre babydolls is the Peppermint Shrimp label. And Slasher's line is No Idol, which I like to call "Shirts for the discerning gentleman to get his ass kicked in." Check them out; the site is still vaguely under construction but you can see the shirts and of course make purchases.  [profile] drawgirl has a few more coming soon, so check back periodically if you're interested (she's got to, ahem, get our former house settled before she gets a chance to produce more shirts).

At least one of you have expressed dissatisfaction with American Apparel babydoll shirts. If you like a Peppermint Shrimp shirt but don't want to strap your bosoms down in the waifish constraints of what American Apparel considers "medium," let me or [profile] drawgirl know and we can work something out on a O/S shirt. All the No Idol shirts are a bit bigger, and they can also always get bigger sizes if you like a looser fit. They are way flexible.
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Yesterday Slasher brought over a copy of Guitar Hero, and after consuming a marvelous good feast courtesy of Drawgirl, we moved the furniture and rocked out. No, wait, I'm sorry...RAWKED OUT. Nothing but capital letters for the Cock House Five (which was the, uh, inspired name for our band that [profile] hplovescatscame up with). Okay, so the game is ridiculously fun. You get this little controller, and through a variety of button pushing and lever waggling you the player get to rock out. Much like Dance Dance Revolution, only with a toy guitar. I'm sorry, with a MIGHTY AXE! 

Anyway, there seem to be two kinds of people that play this game. One is the Stoic. You know, every band has that guy. He usually plays the bass. He stands there just playing the guitar, nodding at his own vast competence from time to time. As the mighty oak allows the wind to howl through his branches, so does the Stoic stand, feet planted, letting the violent forces of rock blast against him without swaying. Most newbies seem to be Stoics, largely because we are just trying to get the right damn button.

Then there's the Showboat. Slasher is in fact a Showboat. Slasher was the individual we had to move the furniture for. He jumps up and down. He swings the guitar around. He plays it behind his head. He gets down on his knees and plays to the gods of rock. He is also more good at this game than any working adult person should have the time to be. Though I will say, by the time I started getting the hang of the game, it was becoming obvious to me that I myself will be a Showboat when I can do it without losing track of the buttons. I just couldn't help it. I wanted to move my shoulders around. I wanted to tilt the guitar up. I wanted to thrust my hips in obscene ways and throw up the horns at the screaming crowds chanting my name. 

If you are a compulsive singer, I would advise wearing a ball gag during this game. As I discovered during "Ziggy Stardust" and "Killer Queen" both, it is not for the novice to sing and play at the same time. You wil forget the difference between green, red, and yellow, and your fingers will fail to obey you. Just concentrate on the damn buttons. 

Also: avoid "Crossroads." Eric Clapton is not a Guitar Hero but a Guitar Demigod, and you should not try in your hubris to reach that star else you will only get carpal tunnel. Or make your tendonitis angry with you and spend the rest of the evening with an ice pack pressed to your wrist.


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